First things first, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being ‘taken’ in your twenties either. I’m just saying, if you do find yourself single, don’t be sad about it – embrace it.
I can honestly speak from experience on this one. Being single can be equally as wonderful and once you’ve mastered life alone you’ll be so much better equipped to master it with someone by your side. If you’ve just come out of a relationship and are looking to heal, here is how I dealt with my heartbreak.
So, why don’t we like being single?
Our minds don’t tend to be our best friends when we are single hey? It’s almost as if the people in relationships are everywhere to be seen and suddenly it feels as if you’re the only person in the world that’s single. So let’s first address that… whatever you focus on is what you will attract into your life.
Honestly, there are people in relationships that crave the freedom and strength of people that are single and there are people that are single that crave the vulnerability and company of people in relationships. It works both ways. It’s all about doing what feels good for you.
It’s all about making sure you are true to your dreams, your intuition and your joy. Partner or no partner, happiness is absolutely attainable… after all the power is within you.
Being single is a hell of a lot better than spending your youth with the wrong person and having regrets later on in life. Being in a relationship should only ever enhance your life and your dreams, not hinder it or them.
I’ve spent the first half of my 20’s doing everything in this post and I just cannot imagine myself, my life, my career or my friendships any other way. Sure there were moments I dreamt of sharing with someone but I am so proud of myself that I found the courage to be curious, to step out of my comfort zone and do it alone. I’ve gotten to know who I am, what I want and what it feels like to spend time with people that align with me.
And one day I’ll absolutely be able to share that with someone.
My happiness is in my hands, it resides within myself first and foremost.
I think that’s the most important thing to grasp here.
The most important relationship you will ever have during your time on earth is with yourself.
So if you’ve clicked onto this post because you’re comparing yourself to others and freaking out about being single. Let me encourage you to embrace this time and use it to invest in and build the healthiest and strongest relationship with yourself and your future possible.
It’ll be the best decision you ever make. I promise.
See all my well-being posts here.
Here are some reasons I think being single in your 20’s is a wonderful thing:
1. It’s time to figure out who you are
Knowing who you are and what you want will be the means around which you build yourself a happy life.
If you tie your existence to someone else and never give yourself the chance to discover who YOU really are, how will you know what’s going to make you happy long term?
2. Go travelling!
(You saw it coming!) Move to a different corner of the country if you fancy it, pack your bags and do a year abroad or simply go backpacking for a bit with your best mate.
Being single means… you can just go.
You’ll have no emotional pulls from a relationship swaying your decision and you won’t feel trapped by anything.
3. Concentrate on your career and on friendships
Find something that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning. THIS IS YOUR PRIME TIME.
Often we look to relationships and love when we are like ‘what am I doing with my life’ and we are seeking comfort. Don’t let that be a reason to get in a relationship. Channel that confused, lost energy into your career and into friendships around you. Take time to figure out what makes you tick. It’ll give you the best foundation long term and will mean that you never stay in a relationship because you’re scared of your life without it. Ultimately meaning the relationship will only add to your already wonderful life.
You’ll never have as much energy, drive and spare time as you do now. Forget dreaming about date nights and chilling every weekend with a boyfriend. Throw everything you have at life and CHASE THOSE DREAMS.
4. Become independent
Learn how to do things by yourself. It’s great having help from others, but being confident in the knowledge that you could survive by yourself will be your strongest foundation.
It will ensure that you never stay with someone for the wrong reasons, because you know really, you could do it without them.
5. Embrace freedom, be reckless and experience everything!
Get it all out of your system. Do silly things. Stay up all night and go to that after party. Book that trip to Ibiza with your friends this summer. Kiss 3 different people at the same party, waheeeey. To be able to settle down, personally, I need to know that I pursued everything I wanted to. I need to know I had my single time. I don’t ever want to be tempted and thinking the grass is greener where it really isn’t. Experience everything.
Do whatever you fancy. Within reason lol, also be sensible! Be selfish and don’t be sorry about any of it. Mistakes are single-handedly the best way to learn and grow.
6. Step out of your comfort zone
Let’s face it, some people get a little too comfortable in relationships. So much so, the relationship becomes simply a habit and making any sort of changes becomes pretty daunting.
Being single means you have nothing to fear change of and change actually becomes an exciting prospect. Taking a leap of faith could turn your life upside down and well… bring it on!
7. Be selfish with decisions
Being single mean you only have to worry about number one. If something makes you happy you do it and if it doesn’t you don’t have to. Simple as that.
8. You have the rest of your life to enjoy relationships.
Enjoy being single… and enjoy your friends being single too! You have the rest of your life to do the whole settling down thing.
It’s crazy how much pressure we put on ourselves to settle down. There is absolutely no joy in settling down before you are ready. You should absolutely not compromise your standards, dreams or desires because of an ‘age’. You could meet the love of your life any day from today. Don’t stress about it. Focus on you and let the universe do the rest.
P.s. In your 20’s you will have the highest percentage of single friends before you get sacked off for engagement parties, babies, family holidays and husbands! Make the most of all of the freedom and youth you have. Things really do change, in a wonderful way of course, but they change.
9. Learn to love yourself
Loving yourself is sometimes easier said than done, but it’s the best investment you will ever make. It takes time and it takes commitment but it’s the most beautiful adventure you’ll ever go on.
If you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, you’ll likely find yourself in places where you don’t have a healthy relationship returned. Our external reality is a mirror of our internal reality. Want someone to respect you? Love you? Be there for you? Hear you? Support you? Focus on giving those things to yourself first and show them exactly how it’s done. Set your bar high and your boundaries strong.
10. You’ll be happier when you do settle
If a relationship didn’t bring you want you wanted, it’ll have shown you what you don’t want. By dating the wrong ones, you’ll know when you’ve found the right one, and when you do you’ll appreciate them more. You’ll have confidence in knowing the grass isn’t always greener and you’ll be less likely to be led astray.
When you settle, you’ll hope it’s for good, so make sure you’ve shopped around first and you won’t want a refund on your final purchase. Loooool.
What are your thoughts on being single?
Love as always + happy adventuring,
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I can’t do this without you.
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